Cell Block Nations
by XxAlysxX
Summary: A parody of the Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicargo! Yea I suck at spelling - -' First couple is Liet and Feliks! un-betaed.


Sorry I'm up late procrastinating like all good students do on their science prac. report due the next day and I'm listening to cell block tango and bang this comes into mind cuz I'm also reading Hetalia on fanfic.

Warning: OOC nations, character death, bad flirting, parodies and violence. Oh yea and a lot of humour, of the dark sense. XD Oh yea the characters aren't mine either! Its from some guy in japan who made these awesome characters of nations!

First couple is Liet and Feliks  
2nd is Arthur and Francis (very appropriate, non? XD)  
3rd is Natalya (obvious, huh?) and Surprise crack pairing (:D, it may just be yuri, nah I'm just messing with you it's a straight couple)  
4th is Elizabeta and Roderich(, haha so canon.)  
5th Matthew, Alfred and Ivan. Oh that is going to be fun~! (orginially going to be Lovi, Feli and Ludwig, not so Hetalia would he~? but I needed Hetalia somewhere else)  
the last is Hetalia aka (northern) Italy aka Feli and Ludwig aka (west) Germany or Lovino aka (southern) Italy and Antonio aka Spain. Hehe.

* * *

**Pop**  
Lithuania aka Toris "Liet" Lorinaitis came home from work. He really couldn't stand the way Mr. Ivan, he shuddered just thinking about the name from fear, was trying for him to "become one with Russia" again. He really just wanted some peace and quiet from all memories trying to force themselves into the front of his times with Russia.  
No what Toris really wanted right now was to sit on his couch in the house that he and his _boy__friend _Feliks owned since he left Russia's house.

He turned the key into the front of his house, silently admiring the shot gun that Switzerland gave him when he left that cold, unforgiving house, with the words of "_If Russia should come again, shoot him with that gun. Just shoot. Never back down from him." _  
However Toris doubt that Russia would come after him again, no from what he heard from Mr. Alfred, Russia has seemed to get a new _lover_ and he used the term very loosely because he knew from personal experience that Russia could never love and could never show mercy.

Sitting on the couch already was Feliks who gave a rather loud 'pop' from a piece of bubble gum that he was chewing as a greeting. Toris could help but think that Feliks pops his gum instead of chewing it but that would make no sense for the cross dresser to do something like that. Unfortunately this wasn't the first time the Polish man had popped the gum, in fact he kept doing this all through the week.  
Sighing as he got to the couch and sit on it rubbing his temples as he did so.  
'Russia, again? He's like totally not cool with his scarf and everything, it's like so out of fashion,' Feliks chewed, no not chewed popped. Giving his counterpart a warily glance Toris sighed and hung his head.  
'Feliks could you not pop that gum anymore, please its giving me a worse headache,' Toris nearly whined the only thing that stopped him was a habit from many, many years of being in _that _house.

'Well, like Liet, I totally have to pop this gum! I'm like going for the biggest like record of popping gum in a country so I have to like practice, or do you have other ways for me to use my mouth?' Feliks said popping along the way and batting his eyes near the end while slowly lifting up his skirt for today.  
'Feliks I'm really not in the mood for any of those things! I just want to rest in peace, please?' Toris said but finally whining at the end. Feliks just gave a pop. Toris soon started to see red, looking down his hands were slightly clenching, just wanting so do something like strangle the other.

That's when it hit him, he was starting to think like Russia, like that sick, horrible, uncaring man that he was forced to serve under. Soon he was shaking from fear however a small voice in his head that sounded very much like that man that made him shake from fear of told him to do those things so Feliks, to see him bathed in the red life blood of his country, of his people.  
Toris didn't even notice Feliks shift over to him so that he was right in his face looking concerned until a certain popping sound came from his mouth.  
'Please, stop popping!' Toris yelled very distressed.  
'No I'm going to like win that huge record and I'm going to like get an award for it!' Feliks yelled confused but determined.  
'You pop that gum one more time!' Toris said almost calmly if not for the shaking and clenching of his hands. The answer Toris got was 'Pop'. Slowly Toris got up from the couch with a hung head and dragging feet. He went into the hallway near the front door.

Felik's worried gaze trailed him. He wondered if he pushed Toris a little too far for a moment before he felt a sudden urge to pop his gum again.  
Toris grabbed the shotgun off the wall and went back to the couch with a slowly forming mad grin coming onto his face.  
'I tried to warn you~! However you just didn't listen, too bad Feliks,' Toris almost sung, the mad grin that covered his face had widened just a bit more when he almost sung. Feliks eyes widened and the gum that he blew up popped all around his mouth. It would have seemed comedic if Toris hadn't the urge to make Feliks stop the popping, permanently.

Bang! Bang!

The blonde hair of Feliks Łukasiewicz that night was covered in pure red. Not that he would have worried to get it out of his hair again. The mad grin of Toris Lorinitis seemed almost permanent since then along with the stillness of Feliks's body when all the other nations saw him.  
Russia chuckled when he saw him, a dark chuckle only matched by Toris when he punched Mr. Ivan in the stomache.

* * *

Yay! Badassed!Lithuania. I killed off Feliks...I feel so bad right now.

-XxAlysxX


End file.
